Finally!

Wow, wow, and wow. I completely forgot about this blog, how candid I was in it, and how completely different my life has been the past two years than it was when I kept up with this thing. I've been craving the sense of unburdening I used to get from writing, and when I read my old posts that craving became a need.  

It's amazing to see my past struggles and how God gave me wisdom and strength beyond my years through them. To say the least, I lost that somewhere along the way. I'll use these posts later on to go into more detail about specific experiences since I haven't decided yet exactly how transparent I would like to be or how I'd like to lay it all out, but for now I'll just say, God is faithful.

I lived in complete darkness and barrenness for too long, yet God pursued me relentlessly. He actively placed the relationships in my life that would balance and challenge me. He protected me from natural consequences when I was too far in my sin to care what may come. And first and foremost, he loved me. 

I'm not talking about an abstract, lofty love that I know most of you will imagine when you think about the love of God. I mean an utterly and completely tangible, visible, and persistent love that can only be divine.  I lived with absolutely no consideration for the love that was being showered upon me, yet it never ceased to flood. 

This love that never fails is what is driving me to rediscover what I'm made for. It's empowering me to grasp anew my worth and meaning. And it's challenging me to find exactly what it is that I'm capable of achieving in this lifetime. I haven't made a full recovery from the destruction I've brought into my heart and life, but I'm definitely on the road.

This is what my life is for: the glory of the One who rescued me, and may it never be any other way again.

 …มุ่งหวัง have hope