There's always stupider as a choice.

I’d like to say, oh I’m getting wise,
but I don’t know that I am.
That’s why I want to meditate.
I mean one reason why.
Older and wiser are not necessarily a done deal.
There is always older and stupider as a choice.

- Erin

Roman candles

"The only people for me are the mad ones- the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars, and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop, and everybody goes, 'Ahhhh!'"
-Jack Kerouac


I haven't blogged in a while. There have been a few times when I sat at my computer, tried to think of something inspired to say, and gave up. I'm not sure why I haven't been able to put together a cohesive paragraph, but I have an idea as to what the reason could be; I've been absorbed in this machine we call life, completely uninspired, instead of living what I'm passionate about. It's so easy when I'm in an environment like this to fade into everyone else, but today someone reminded me who I want to be. What vitality is there in living the same life as any other person? That's not life at all, because living is finding what drives your passions from a feeling to an action; it's finding what makes you feel truly alive.

We all know how everyone else wants us to live. It could be as a perfect girl who dresses perfectly, looks perfect, never steps a toe out of line, and never has a sarcastic thing to say, or a fun guy with no problems and no worries. But why live how everyone wants? Why not be real? I know the world has set a mold and expects everyone to fit it. "Look your best, do your best, be your best." But what if that isn't what's important? What if what's vital is embracing the individual spark that God put inside each of us? This world can be a breathtaking display of fireworks if everyone is real about who they are and loves it, embraces it.

It's the greatest tragedy to see infinite potential fade into the distance. But individuality sets the world on fire.

Photography by Natalie Eck :)

A day without shoes.

I didn’t wear shoes today. Thousands of people across America didn’t wear shoes today.

More importantly, millions of children in third world countries didn’t wear shoes today, not because they chose to do so, but because they have none to wear. Many children cannot go to school because shoes are a required part of their uniform, and they have none. Some of the most common, most fatal diseases are soil-transmitted; today 11 million people in Ethiopia alone were at risk for Podo, a fatal foot and leg disease that’s 100% preventable by a pair of shoes. Wounds these children get on their feet often become infected due to lack of medical treatment, many of which often result in death.

This is why we chose not to wear shoes today for TOMS’s One Day Without Shoes; experiencing a day without shoes gave us a glance at how millions of people have to live every day and it raised awareness about the issue. I learned a lot from today. Even though I don’t live in an area with dangerous soil-transmitted disease and I’m not at risk for a deadly infection, I was a little inconvenienced when I walked out the door to go to a study group and noticed all the rain falling on the ground, and even more so when I walked back to my dorm with all the earth worms crawling around me. I in no way experienced the kinds of things people forced to live without shoes do, but my eyes were opened.

I saw exactly why it’s so important to give shoes to these people. Some people argue that we can’t save everyone; we need to start at the top with government so they can save themselves. But the truth is that people die every day because of illness related to lack of shoes. Humanitarian aid is not limited to providing the most basic human needs like freedom, medical attention, and food. Christ Himself said to His disciples:

“I was hungry and you gave me something to eat. I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink…I needed clothes and you clothed me. I was sick and you looked after me. I was in prison and you came to visit me…Anything you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me”

Anything we do for the least of these, including giving shoes to children, we do for our Lord. We can give them hope…มุ่งหวัง

Nothing but the blood…

What can wash away my sin?

Nothing but the blood of Jesus.

What can make me whole again?

Nothing but the blood of Jesus.

Come to us, Lord.  You reward those who earnestly diligently seek You.  I wanna see Your face, I wanna know Your way.  Come to us Lord.  We want You more than this life.  More than our way, Your way is higher, Your thoughts are higher.

Oh, precious is the flow

That makes me white as snow.

No other fount I know,

Nothing but the blood of Jesus.

 

It’s the easiest thing in the world to go through the day with an unaffected, apathetic affectation towards the blood of Christ.  As westernized people, we voyage through this world with our minds swimming through a thick, muddled ocean of pre-conceived ideas and aspirations; we’re raised to live undisturbed lives.  But the truth of the Gospel is that to be affected by Christ is to be disturbed in every aspect of our lives.  Every thought we have from the moment we open our eyes in the morning to the time we close them at night would be disturbed by the gloriously transforming cross of Christ.

On a day like today, an Easter Sunday that’s sunny with a high of 80, I can’t help but be affected.  All day long people chant, “He is risen! He is risen, indeed!” and it gets to me.  It makes me think about the blood of Jesus that can wash away my sin, that can make me whole again.  Who is this God that would lay down His life for us, His friends, and turn our fallen world right side up by defeating death and rising again?  Surely, His ways are higher and His thoughts are higher than ours.  They are too great for me to imagine, yet they overtake my heart and pour out of my soul. 

Today, my life was affected by the precious flow of Christ’s blood, and it is my hope… มุ่งหวัง

Little Bird.

I walked to class in this beautiful weather today, and along the way a bird flew alongside me, chirping a song of freedom. When I think of birds, that's exactly what I think of: freedom. They soar where they please, they aren't chained by comfort, and no one can tell them "Stop flying, you're going too high." They're boundless. Even the smallest of birds can sing a liberating tune while he flies across the sky. But the little bird I saw today seemed to be mocking me with his song. As I walked -and as he flew- through a construction site, he perched on a bulldozer and looked at me, chirping for what seemed like minutes. The juxtaposition of that free little bird resting on the confines of this concrete jungle resounded in a voiceless kind of irony.

"Look at you." I could almost hear him sing the words aloud. "You are chained by the very comforts that you think will give you freedom." As I sit here thinking about that bird, I realize that the securities of this age which we strive for whole heartedly, supposedly making us more free, only serve to confine us to an all-encompassing ideology. We reach so hard for the reliability of a home and spouse and financial stability, the American Dream, that we miss the freedom that rests in the spontaneity of a sudden adventure. We put ourselves in a cage, and the worst part is that we can't even see the bars.

I want to be like that little bird. I want to follow wherever the sun leads me, not constricted to what this world requires. I want to go into the villages of Uganda and feed an orphaned child, and climb the mountaintops of Peru, and walk the streets of London in the rain, and swim with the dolphins in Australia.


I'm just as tied into this society as the next person, but I want to be free.

Let us be free.

If love is just love,
Then guns are just guns.
Let's trade ammunition.
Fire with doves.

Love mends the broken,
Bringing on peace,
Healing the nations.
Let us be free.

-Christofer Drew Ingle

Safety in God's Will.

My sister's friend gave me a book for Christmas called Come Away My Beloved. I've never met the girl who gave me this gift, but if I could thank her then my gratitude would be unending. It's a book of intimacy from God, and one chapter spoke directly to my life.

Safety in God's Will

"If anyone is a worshiper of God and does His will, He hears him." John 9:31

My will is not a place, but a condition. Do not ask Me where and when, but ask Me how. You will discover blessing in every place, and any place, if your spirit is in tune with Me. No place or time is more hallowed than another when you are truly in love with Me.

I direct every motion of your life, as the ocean bears a ship. Your will and intelligence may be at the helm, but divine providence and sovereignty are stronger forces. You can trust Me, knowing that any pressure I bring to bear upon your life is initiated by My love, and I will not do even this except as you are willing and desire.

Many a ship has sailed from port to port with no interference from Me, because Strong Will has been at the wheel. Multitudes of pleasure cruises go merrily on their ways, untouched by the power of My hand.

But you have put your life into My keeping, and because you are depending on Me for guidance and direction, I shall give it.

Move on steadily, and know that the waters that carry you are the waters of My love and My kindness, and I will keep you on the right course.

Solution.

I seem to have been thinking and talking about myself a lot this past month; about my drama, about my issues, about my world, about my future. Considering the fact that there are about 6 billion other people on this planet, I sure do use the word "I" an awful lot.

But it's funny how easy it is to become wrapped up in my own happiness. I understand now what God meant when he told us that the heart is deceitful above all things. We're created with a purpose, and that purpose is to make much of God. We're created to worship and bring fame to God's glory...in fact our joy will never reach its full potential unless that's our life ambition.

I fell into Satan's lie that a person can make me happy, that a relationship has the capacity to bring joy to my life. It took a lot of pain and a lot of God stripping idols from my life to get back to where I should be. I forgot why I'm here, why I'm alive. I have breath so I can sing to the Lord. I have feet so I can go into the world. I have hands so I can serve the needy.

There's a song by Hillsong United called "Solution" and it says, "It is not a human right to stare and not fight while broken nations dream." That song reminded me of what I had forgotten over the past few months. As a Christian, I have been called to bring glory to Christ's name by taking Him to the world, because He is the solution.

So I'm applying to spend next semester in Uganda. And I haven't been this excited about anything in a very, very long time :)